Today I’m going to talk about my marriage life. What my wife and I do to make our marriage works. As mentioned in my previous blog Marriage Counselling before saying I do my wife and I have been married for more than 4 years now with 2 beautiful kids (can’t stop thanking God for his wonderful blessing).
Holidays
My wife and I planned that we should have an overseas holiday at least once a year. But due to my working schedule, many holidays plan have to be postponed or cancelled. But instead of having an argument over it, my wife came up with a good plan, just pack our bags on weekends and stay in a luxury hotel. Any hotel will do as long as it is 5 stars, even if the hotel is only ½ hour drive from our house. It is indeed a good relaxation, just my wife and I, even if it for a quick getaway. My point is, it is not the end of the world if things do not turn out the way you and your spouse wants it and there is always a solution if both parties willing to think of one.
Bills
We have discussed on the who-need-to-pay-what even before married and we are very committed to it but of course we are flexible on this, helping each other out when we are short of cash. I have seen a lot of couples fail on this, one party will neglect to commit after awhile.
Freedom
For those who want a 100% freedom after married, PLESE THINK TWICE before you says “I do”. You have to take away the “I” and replace with “WE” after married. However, my wife and I agreed to have a personal time off once a week. She will have her lady nights out and I’ll have my boy nights out.
Talks and discussion
Think this is the most important stuff do to. After awhile husband and wife do not talk to one another anymore, and when they do it will be an argument. My wife and I will talk on everything, our daily life, things happen in office, TV shows, things we read in newspaper/magazine and etc, etc. Of course we do argue sometime (don’t think there is one couple who do not argue), a talk can become a discussion and from discussion can become an argument. But after argument we will let the hatred cool down and we will either continue to talk and think of a solution if the talks are important or just forget about it if it is just a silly argument.
Patient
I guess this is the key to every successful marriage. We just have to be patient with each other, listen to each other needs. We may not always give want our spouse want but at least being patient with them will definitely make a huge different. For example, I like things to be neat and tidy but wife on the other hand will place stuff all over the place. I once scolded my wife for being such a messy person but then again this is how she is the very 1st time we met. So instead of scolding her after awhile, I’ll just let the mess at it is until when everyone go to bed I’ll do the clean up (I’m not the person who can sleep knowing the mess is all over the place and wait for my maid to clean up the next morning). She’s happy, I’m happy and we all can have a good night sleep.
Like I said before, head for marriage counsel before marry, then you will understand what you spouse want in marriage life, continue if you sincerely think you can handle your spouse needs, stop if you are not ready. Remember, there is no in-between. From there it is up to you and your spouse how to make the marriage a successful one.
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Friday, April 30, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Marriage Counselling before saying I do
Few days ago, a closed friend of mine split out all his marital problems to me and said he is now temporary staying in a hotel. I was surprise indeed. Never will I have thought this will happen to him. He seems to be a happy man all the times, even though I know he and his wife had different needs in marriage but not until need times to cool off things.
Anyway, I’m not going to talk about my friend’s marriage issues here instead I’m going to talk about my marriage experience.
My wife and I (married for more than 4 years now with 2 lovely kids) attended a marriage counsel before getting married (it is more like a class). Well, it was organized by her Church and since she wanted to marry in a Church, it was a requirement to attend. I must admit how I feel uncomfortable at 1st but at the end how relief I was that we have gone through it.
The marriage counsel was conducted by 2 old married couple. There were more than 6 couples (including my wife and I) in the class. Each section (can’t remember how many sections in all but think it took about a month to complete, one section per week), they will read out their experience to us and from there they will ask our opinion. Then they will hand out a booklet and ask us to answer it from the bottom of our heart. The questions were range from things the couples like and dislike about each other, do you think your partner is pretty to what they aspect in marriage life, like having babies, how much freedom you need and etc.
Then we were asked to exchange our booklet, let our partner to take few minutes to read and discuss about it. I remember there were one section that it ended up with quarrel among the couples (yes, including my wife and I) ha ha ha. At the end of each section, the counselors will explain the purpose of today subject and they will explain what we need to do to overcome our differences.
The whole process makes us aware that small little stuff that we take it for granted may cause a big argument later in the marriage years and it prepared us for what we will be facing. It also tells what kind of character your partner is and what is she/he expecting in the marriage life.
The whole purpose of the marriage counsel is to make sure you are ready to say “I do” and not simply rush into it just because you love your partner. At the end of the counseling, I heard some postpone their marriage plan, some just call it off but for most, like my wife and I, proceed with planned. I must admit there are a few who devoice even after attended the class. But nevertheless, I always encourage couples to go through it before their big day. I believe if the couples would have answered the questions truly from their heart instead of pleasing their partner and come out with solutions to pave any differences there and there, they might have smoother marriage years ahead.
Next I’ll talk about my marriage life and what my wife and I did to stay happy.
Anyway, I’m not going to talk about my friend’s marriage issues here instead I’m going to talk about my marriage experience.
My wife and I (married for more than 4 years now with 2 lovely kids) attended a marriage counsel before getting married (it is more like a class). Well, it was organized by her Church and since she wanted to marry in a Church, it was a requirement to attend. I must admit how I feel uncomfortable at 1st but at the end how relief I was that we have gone through it.
The marriage counsel was conducted by 2 old married couple. There were more than 6 couples (including my wife and I) in the class. Each section (can’t remember how many sections in all but think it took about a month to complete, one section per week), they will read out their experience to us and from there they will ask our opinion. Then they will hand out a booklet and ask us to answer it from the bottom of our heart. The questions were range from things the couples like and dislike about each other, do you think your partner is pretty to what they aspect in marriage life, like having babies, how much freedom you need and etc.
Then we were asked to exchange our booklet, let our partner to take few minutes to read and discuss about it. I remember there were one section that it ended up with quarrel among the couples (yes, including my wife and I) ha ha ha. At the end of each section, the counselors will explain the purpose of today subject and they will explain what we need to do to overcome our differences.
The whole process makes us aware that small little stuff that we take it for granted may cause a big argument later in the marriage years and it prepared us for what we will be facing. It also tells what kind of character your partner is and what is she/he expecting in the marriage life.
The whole purpose of the marriage counsel is to make sure you are ready to say “I do” and not simply rush into it just because you love your partner. At the end of the counseling, I heard some postpone their marriage plan, some just call it off but for most, like my wife and I, proceed with planned. I must admit there are a few who devoice even after attended the class. But nevertheless, I always encourage couples to go through it before their big day. I believe if the couples would have answered the questions truly from their heart instead of pleasing their partner and come out with solutions to pave any differences there and there, they might have smoother marriage years ahead.
Next I’ll talk about my marriage life and what my wife and I did to stay happy.
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