Few days ago, a closed friend of mine split out all his marital problems to me and said he is now temporary staying in a hotel. I was surprise indeed. Never will I have thought this will happen to him. He seems to be a happy man all the times, even though I know he and his wife had different needs in marriage but not until need times to cool off things.
Anyway, I’m not going to talk about my friend’s marriage issues here instead I’m going to talk about my marriage experience.
My wife and I (married for more than 4 years now with 2 lovely kids) attended a marriage counsel before getting married (it is more like a class). Well, it was organized by her Church and since she wanted to marry in a Church, it was a requirement to attend. I must admit how I feel uncomfortable at 1st but at the end how relief I was that we have gone through it.
The marriage counsel was conducted by 2 old married couple. There were more than 6 couples (including my wife and I) in the class. Each section (can’t remember how many sections in all but think it took about a month to complete, one section per week), they will read out their experience to us and from there they will ask our opinion. Then they will hand out a booklet and ask us to answer it from the bottom of our heart. The questions were range from things the couples like and dislike about each other, do you think your partner is pretty to what they aspect in marriage life, like having babies, how much freedom you need and etc.
Then we were asked to exchange our booklet, let our partner to take few minutes to read and discuss about it. I remember there were one section that it ended up with quarrel among the couples (yes, including my wife and I) ha ha ha. At the end of each section, the counselors will explain the purpose of today subject and they will explain what we need to do to overcome our differences.
The whole process makes us aware that small little stuff that we take it for granted may cause a big argument later in the marriage years and it prepared us for what we will be facing. It also tells what kind of character your partner is and what is she/he expecting in the marriage life.
The whole purpose of the marriage counsel is to make sure you are ready to say “I do” and not simply rush into it just because you love your partner. At the end of the counseling, I heard some postpone their marriage plan, some just call it off but for most, like my wife and I, proceed with planned. I must admit there are a few who devoice even after attended the class. But nevertheless, I always encourage couples to go through it before their big day. I believe if the couples would have answered the questions truly from their heart instead of pleasing their partner and come out with solutions to pave any differences there and there, they might have smoother marriage years ahead.
Next I’ll talk about my marriage life and what my wife and I did to stay happy.
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